The tradition of having a best man in attendance at your wedding originated back in the day when a man would literally kidnap his bride to be. If the bride’s family made an attempt to rescue her and take her back, the best man’s role was to be ready, willing and able to help the groom with the flight of his bride-to-be and any fight that might ensue.
Although he may not be as deeply involved in the wedding plans as the maid of honor, the best man at any wedding has an important and responsible role to play at the wedding celebration. The first thing to remember is that it is an honor to be chosen to stand at the side of the bride and groom on one of the most important days of their lives.
The art of toasting and giving speeches at a wedding is all for the common purpose of bringing the guests and wedding couple together to give your blessings and to wish them well. When preparing best man speeches, there are some serious guidelines and do and don’ts to be considered to make sure that you get it right.
Keep in mind that you are representing the best interest of the bride and groom and were thought to be special enough to stand with them on their special day. Best man speeches should never contain subjects that are deemed inappropriate. Make sure there is nothing in the speech that would embarrass or humiliate the bride or groom in front of their friends and family.
After you have wrapped your brain around the importance of even being chosen for this role, there are a few guidelines you may not have thought about or even considered before you put pen to paper. What might be common sense for one best man may need to be spelled out for another. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind as you prepare your speech
3 Most Important Don’ts for Best Man Speeches
One of the biggest subjects to avoid is past relationships. Keep in mind that previous relationships hold different feelings for different people. You have no idea on how some family members or friends, who are in attendance, may feel about what you are saying. While you and the bride and groom may have a few inside jokes about past relationships, you could be making others in the audience very uncomfortable and never be aware of it.
Start by sharing stories about you and your friends past and talk about what a great friend he has been. If you want to share about how they first met make sure you ask, don’t improvise. You never know if someone from a past relationship is in attendance at the wedding, so don’t take the focus off the bride on her special day. The goal of the best mans speech is to celebrate the couple and make them look and feel good about exchanging their lifelong vows.
If you’ve been to a number of weddings, you know that best man speeches can delve into past indiscretions that are not appropriate for wedding guests, friends and family to hear. This is an area that you need to steer clear of. You are not at the neighborhood bar, hanging out at your friend’s home or relaxing with your buddies; you are representing the new bride and groom.
Grandmothers, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, parents and clergy will be in the room as you deliver your best man speech. The drunken night in Vegas, the college arrest or any doubts the groom may have had about marrying into the bride’s slightly dysfunctional family are not open for discussion at this celebration. Remember who your audience is and save all your inside jokes for another time.
The last vital piece of advice for those of you who will be giving best man speeches is to make sure you deliver your speech sober. While one drink of alcohol may take the edge off before you give your speech, make sure you watch how much you drink before you speak in front of an audience. You don’t want to be sloppy drunk when you give your speech.
It is customary for the groom and groomsman to have a toast together before the wedding, but you have a responsibility to stand up for the bride and groom and represent them at their wedding. If you become complete uninhibited before your speech, chances are you’ll say something you will truly regret. This will only result in embarrassment and the humiliation of a couple you claim to care about. It would be wise to postpone your immediate gratification until you have successfully delivered your speech.
In closing, make sure to remember to thank everyone who made the day possible. Make sure you acknowledge the bride and groom’s parents by name and offer a toast to them for not only putting on a beautiful wedding ceremony, but also for raising two wonderful people.
Tags: important days, responsible role, family members, best interest, common sense, pen to paper, best man speeches, bride and groom, Human Interest
